When I opened the door James' eyes sought out Jane and he said, "Do you remember that Twilight Zone with the aliens who promised to help humanity? Well, that's maybe not the perfect metaphor 'cause it turned out they wanted to eat us, but still, wouldn't that be great? I mean, Someone swoops in with all the answers, solves all our problems. The God Machine. And we can do it. You can. They can. Whatever." My slow, deliberate mind wasn't keeping up. Jane got it before I did.
"You want the Havinians to go to the Earth universe to help humanity."
"Yes!" James exclaimed with shining pride and happiness.
"No."
"What?" James looked baffled, and I imagine I did, too. It had sounded like a good idea to me.
"Don't tell anyone this ides, James, because it's not a good one, but they're gonna wanna do it, because they're good, and moral, and altruistic, and very, very naive."
"But... earth is your home, Jane."
"It's not."
"They need you. They're suffering."
"I don't care."
James looked bereft.
Jane's voice had risen and she had leaned forward in her chair, but now she leaned back and said, "That's not true... yes it is."
Pleading now, James said, "C'mon, you don't want to save the world?"
"No, I don't."
When Jane was a child she was made an outsider. Her peers rejected her, bullied her. So she rejected them in return.
One day when she was 10 her classmates got mad at her for for making them lose a kickball game and the rest of the day made their disdain for her intelligence and maturity clear. She kept a stony face all day and almost believed herself that she did not care about their opinions, but when she went home she cried uncontrollably into her mother's shoulder.
"Sports don't matter," Jane sobbed, hurt and outraged but surprisingly coherent. "Science matters. Science can save the world."
Stroking her child's shocking orange hair, Jane's mom said, "You're right. But do one thing for me, okay? Don't hate the world. Or what will be the point in saving it?"
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
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